The better question might be, “Who do I help if they don’t want sobriety?”
In the last post we discussed someone who was ready and willing to get sober. What if the person I care about isn’t ready yet?
Here’s the blunt truth: You can’t make them stop and neither can I.
Maybe a judge or a hospital can force someone to stop for a period of time, but forced abstinence is much different than real sobriety.
It can be helpful in getting the drugs and/or alcohol out of someone’s system to allow for better decision-making, but there’s no guarantee. If you have doubts, search the web for stories about the availability of drugs in prisons and jails.
So how can you help? You can say, “I love you and I’m willing to help if you want it. I won’t, however, support your addiction.”
Then there’s the question above: “Who do I help if they don’t want sobriety?” The answer is you help yourself, your family, the people who care about the substance abuser. You learn about appropriate boundaries, support groups for you, and how to love the abuser without supporting their habit. Addiction is a disease that affects not only the alcoholic/addict but everyone close to them.
This is tricky territory. You can imagine the concerns:
- “But we love her and can’t bear to see her in pain!”
- “But how will he pay the rent?”
- “But he’s a great employee when he shows up!”
You get the idea. It’s not easy and the families and friends need their own customized path to their own recovery. Recovery Navigators works with families, friends, employers and others to help them on their journey in their version of recovery. Want to know more? Let’s talk.
In sobriety,
Brian